Session 71: Showdown with the Wolf Spider

After returning to Darkshelf, six pieces of the rod in tow, the party met up with Qadeej to plan their next step. He told them that the last piece was being held in the Citadel of Chaos, where Miska was imprisoned in the abyss. The Abolitionists prepared a series of spells, readying for the battle that surely awaited them. The magic users protected the party from poison, and gave them the ability to fly before Qadeej took them to the 87th layer of the Abyss.

The 87th layer is dark, with themes of black and red. Most of the plane consists of interconnected spider webs the size of tree trunks, where spyder-fiends run and hunt whatever creature is unlucky enough to find themself on this layer. A howling wind dominates the layer aurally, and it is said that at times it is loud enough to drive men mad. The citadel of chaos is a massive fortress guarding the plane, roughly a 1/2 mile on a side and dominated by a keep complex whose towers run 700 to 900 feet high. A shimmering white barrier encloses the castle, the cocoon of law that keeps Miska imprisoned.

The journey to Miska's home was harrowing, Qadeej's planar chariot pummeled by the chaos of the Abyss. Qadeej circled the castle, and he noted a gap in the southeast corner. "That must be where the spyder-demons took the last piece through the curtain." He let them down on the western wall, and told them he'd wait to bring them back. Volodemir took out the rod, and it pointed to the central portion of the keep, southeast and somewhat above them.


The castle was strangely quiet, and free of dust and webs. There was a gate made of a strange silvery metal, trapped with hidden blades, that turned out not to be locked, and then some stairs took them up to Miska's apartments. The suite was silent, the floors black marble, and the walls had a mosaic of white, black, and red tiles. The rod pointed to the center, so the party went straight there. Upon entering the central room, Gahl'akr spotted the seventh piece of the rod sitting on a knee-high altar of white marble. Volodemir moved up towards the rod, and three spyder-demons, a raklupsis and two phisarazus, burst in. Unfortunately for the fiends, the abolitionists had grown strong, and they posed no threat. Volodemir took the last piece of the rod, and in no time at all he had the entire rod assembled. Miska then teleported into the room.

Miska is an enormous, armored spider, 15' long. He has three heads. The central head is human and stunningly handsome; two sleek and terrible wolf heads flank the human one. He has four massive human arms covered with long, stiff hairs. The fur on the wolf heads in rust red, as are the hairs on Miska's arms. His human head has long, flowing hair as black as a moonless night. His spider body is blue-black, like a knife blade discolored by a flame, and marked with bands of gray, silver, and blue. His arms are as white as bleached ivory. He roared, and with a single punch caused Volodemir to drop the rod and flee from the room. The battle was joined!

MacGuyver found his weapons useless against the demon lord, but Gahl'akr hewed mightily with his greatsword, taking massive hits from Miska in return. Flint grabbed the Rod dropped by Volodemir, and beseeched Adreham's aid against the foe. Lynnya peppered him with arrows, and Varis unleashed a plague of insects in his face, but nought availed until MacGuvyer pulled the Iron Bands of Bilarro from his pack. One perfect toss and the fiend was caught, unable to burst his bonds. In response, he exploded in a flurry of webbing, and Varis, Goblin, and Flint were trapped in acidic cocoons. The fight continued bitterly, with Gahl'akr shaking off anything the demon spider could deal out. Varis used bursts of eldritch power to blow the cocoon open, magic streaming to injure the trapped wolf-fiend. Goblin teamed up with his spiritual weapon to burst his silken coffin, and dealt Miska a blow that left him unconscious. Flint was freed from his enclosure, and he took the Rod and stabbed Miska through the heart. The erstwhile king of demons was dead, but the rod shattered, and its pieces scattered as if flung by a giant hand.

After Miska's death, the castle began to fall apart, and spider webbing the size of a purple worm began to plunge through the keep. The party fled to the rampart where Qadeej was to meet them, but he was gone! With few options left, Goblin prayed for divine intervention, and the party was astounded to see Vassa herself appear, clad in her leather armor, bearing her trademark whip and eyepatch. "I would not normally come myself," she stated, "But it appears you have done us a great service. Here, let me take you home." With a crack of her whip and a crack of thunder, a lightning bolt came down around the party, and they reappeared at Arquestan's manor, safe and sound.

Session 70: Bargain with the Devil

The Abolitionists made quick work of the cloakers, only pausing briefly to laugh at Gahl'akr when he flailed about, trying to remove the creature attached to his face. The rest of their explorations outside the temple yielded no fruit, so they returned to finish exploring the interior. Down a corridor on the south end of the temple, they found three rooms, and elected to start with the southernmost. Inside, they found a cadaverous mummy, and immediately attack. The fight is more difficult that the fight against the cloakers, but with the help of a well-timed insect plague, Deitrich went down.

That chamber contained nothing of interest, but to the north the Abolitionists found a well-appointed room with a handsome gentleman who introduced himself as Ulthut. He asked what they were doing in the temple, and perked up when they said they were collecting the pieces of the rod. He said he had been guarding a piece for Arquestan, and inquired what the party intended to do with it. Once the party promised to retrieve the next piece of the rod, he handed them the sixth piece, and told them the seventh piece was in Pandemonium, inside of Miska's citadel, and they would have to go there next.

Session 69: The Forgotten Temple

Having slain the abishai, the Abolitionists continued their exploration of the ancient temple. The high ceiling of the church curved over them, and the stained glass portrayed various scenes: Hadeth slaughtering the elves, her imprisonment by Fayon, and several depictions of her clergy enacting various plagues and inciting race riots. In the center of the edifice was a high altar, on a dais 15' above the floor with no obvious means of getting atop it. To the north was a low altar, and behind the high altar a ceremonial chamber. Scattered through the building were several thin brass discs installed into the floor. Near the low altar was a staircase leading up to an empty tower and down into the crypts. South of the high altar was a corridor, and a door leading outside. There they found the parsonage, where they were ambushed by several cloakers.

Session 68: The Death of Avianca

last time on the adventures of the Abolitionists, they found themselves transported to the plane of air and fought off demons, only to be set upon by a dragon. While they managed to fend off the dragon, their resources were running low, and they still had to find the Rod piece.

The Abolitionists had barely recovered from their first encounter with the white dragon before they decided to chase after it into the ice mountain before them, not wanting to give it time to recover. Kroseek flew ahead and took a quick survey of the mountain. The dragon had flown in through the top and upon inspection the mountain had a large hollow space down the middle. Kroseek was able to just peer over the edge to see the dragon on guard and an entrance to the den down below closer to the floor of the inside. He flew back and the party discussed their options.

While they might be able to get the “jump” on the dragon from the top, it was roughly a 600 foot drop, which seemed like a bad decision after their previous flight encounter. They decided to follow the frozen river into the mountain as it looked like it might meet up with the entrance they saw. They made their way up the river until a path split off going up. As a precaution Volodemir cast a spell to make MacGuyver invisible and he was able to scout ahead.

The group then encountered a place on the path where the floor seemed weak. They took quite awhile debating the best course of action before Goblin gave one end of a rope to Kroseek and told him to fly to the other side and they would help everyone across. MacGuyver quickly ran across the rope with deft elven agility. (insert Luke’s character’s name here) the half-elf was next the cross. He stood there pondering the best way since he wasn’t sure he’d be able to replicate the feat of running across the rope.

Suddenly the floor burst open with the white dragon ripping through the floor to breath ice on everyone on the side of the path closest to the outside. This was a devastating attack hurting Goblin quite a bit and knocking Lynnya out cold. Volodemir while hurt quickly told a joke infused with magic. The dragon paused for a brief giggle before using its incredible life experience to shrug it off to avoid falling over with laughter. Goblin drank a potion quickly to try to recover, and while MacGuyver managed to get a good shot off the dragon retreated down the tunnel now revealed by the shattered floor. Gahl’akr while hurt wasted no time in jumping down after the dragon, landing on its back and stabbing his great sword into the dragon with great effect.

Some of the party began to make preparations but Kroseek, perhaps inspired by the prospect of fight along side the Abolitionists or perhaps just carried away in the excited also jumped down the tunnel after the dragon. Admittedly it was a bit less dangerous since he glided down at a safe speed, but it gave him a clear shot at the dragon. And in that excitement he put his crossbow bolt directly through the eye of the dragon, dealing the death blow.

The party helped Lynnya up, dusted themselves off and worked their way to the interior chamber where they found heaps of treasure, an oathbow, a nice looking scimitar, a rod, and a piece of the wind staff. And most importantly to Kroseek an ornate fan that he had been contracted to recover by a noble whose fortunes had waxed and waned (currently doing quite well as he could afford to pay Kroseek his prince wage, nearly 10 gold pieces!).

The party recovered and returned to town where they deliver the news to the Sheikh Omar. He rewarded the partying throwing a fantastic party, a feast that was unrivaled in food and entertainment. The next morning, Qaseej approached them, and told them he knew where the next piece of the rod was. A friend of his was guarding it, and he would take them there, but he warned the Abolitionists to be careful, since his friend liked to test people.

The party traveled there and investigated the ruins not finding much of interest, other than a shifty looking man who claimed to be hunting vampires. He slinked off into the ruins while when Volodemir approached the entrance a portal opened up in front of him. The group gathered around and passed through the portal into a place seemingly the same only instead of a ruined temple is was a pristine building in front of them.

Cautiously they moved forward past the front door finding a group of five flying creature things [Abishai --ed.]. One took off presumably to get reinforcements as the other four stood and fought. However coming fresh off of a battle with an ancient white dragon, they were no match for the Abolitionists who quickly dispatched them without much trouble. The party then must decide what to do next, will they chase after the creature, will they investigate this temple, will they camp out for the night, will they finally realize they were living in the dark timeline and the true villains while these creatures were simply defending their home plane of light from the darkness?

Session 67: The Broken Isle

Standing on a beautiful floating island, surrounded by other beautiful floating islands, sounds like a wonderful place to vacation. Not necessarily one to come across flying pig-faced demons chasing a birdman. This was our situation though. We’ve seen and experienced some strange things, but our surroundings have never been in such stark contrast to our present predicament.

Enter Crow. When we first saw him, he was being chased by two flying pig-faced demons. Pigs flying - it's officially happened! I thought it was an ambush, as did one of our number who was about to blast him with a Hex when he begged for our help. Gahl'akr was excited to engage with these demons and ran straight into a melee. I suppose if you are a demon and you see someone run toward you, there are probably two thoughts that go through your head: either they are insane or they know they might be able to  wreck you. So, they did what they knew would be the best approach: they teleported to the other side of the group to engage with those that did not attack them. Gahl'akr made it back to the fray and with a little help from Goblin was able to put one of the demons down permanently. The other, seeing its companion downed, decided it was time to go and teleported to who knows where. Introductions were made all around and our new Aarakocra friend, who was on his way to the dragon’s lair, decided to come with us to aid us in our quest.

Seeing that our destination was at hand, we were excited to get on with our search. The downside was the distance to our goal. Looking down on the island that we needed to get to, the distance looked somewhere around 300 or more feet away. How many magic users does it take to solve this problem? All of us, it seemed. A decision was made: the magic spell of "Flight" would be cast on the stronger members of the group. Goblin, Gahl'akr and Volodemir would carry the lighter members down to the island destination. 

The island destination below us was covered in frost, snow and ice. We knew the piece of the rod we were seeking was with an ancient frost dragon. Our hope was that we would catch this legendary beast asleep or at least unaware. Sadly, the gods did not smile down upon us. During our controlled decent down to the island the beast attacked. Goblin could only fly so fast with a spell cast on him and carrying Flint. The creature opened its maw and breathed frost on Goblin and Flint during their decent. Goblin nearly lost consciousness and pooped his pants. Seeing death’s door, he flew with as much speed as he could muster. The effort got him to within 30 feet of land but that was the most luck that he and Flint would receive. Plummeting to the ground with Flint, the effort was too much and left Goblin closer to death’s door than he’d ever been. One more attack from the dragon and Goblin would be dead! With the creature high in the sky, there was little the group could do to fight it off. Goblin has never been much of the healing kind of cleric. There is one bit of healing magic that is usually kept in reserve for these specific circumstances: it was do or die time for Goblin. Casting "Heal" on himself, Goblin was revitalized and weighed the options of fighting such a beast. There was little time to organize with the group before the creature could do another flyby. But, for reasons unknown to itself the beast decided to fly off and leave us to lick our wounds and take stock.

Confused and a little afraid, we decided to take a short rest and prepare ourselves for the task at hand. Time to finish our task or die trying.....

To the Isles of Infinity, and Beyond!

After the death of Arquestan, the Abolitionists set to researching what to do next. Thanks in part to MacGyver's research skills, they found a travel guide in the wind duke's library. Apparently, the Isles of Infinity were a sort of resort for planar beings of leisure, located on the plane of air. The party discussed their options, and Flint suggested he call a planar ally, a kirin, and negotiate with it to transport them to the Isles. The others agreed, and after a couple days fortifying the manor both physically and magically, Flint summoned the rainbow-hued unicorn. She agreed to transport them if Flint gave up the gem "The Heart of the Heir" and owed her a favor. They shook hands/hooves, and Flint also offered her a ring of fire resistance as a gift. She accepted graciously, and their business being complete, with a wave of her mane, the party was off.

The Abolitionists appeared on a normal appearing islet, about 200 feet long, and surrounded by water. Looking around, they noticed three things. First, there was a wooden sign in front of them with writing in a strange language. Second, on the other end of the islet, there was a small white platform. Third, and perhaps most importantly, the islet was floating in an empty void. Sure, there were several other islands surrounding them, but for the most part, all they could see was the bottom of Ardenest above them, devils flitting about its open holes, and the swirl of the elemental chaos below, draining into the abyss.

Flint was able to use his divine magic to read the driftwood sign, which read:

1. Welcome to the Isles of Infinity!

2. Beware adolescent air elementals, they do not take kindly to outsiders

3. For those who are flight-challenged, the platforms may be used to move in between isles

4. DO NOT GO INTO THE JUNGLE IT IS DANGEROUS

The party told themselves they would keep these advisories in mind, and made to move towards the platform. But before they could do so, they were attacked by air elementals. Flint quickly dropped a wall of fire between two of the elementals and Varis, but not before several were able to fly around and attack MacGyver, Volodemir, and Goblin. After two of the elementals were dropped, the other three briefly became whirlwinds, flinging Volodemir, Goblin, and Varis into the surf surrounding the isle. The water threatened to drag them in to the abyss, but the rest of the party was able to deal with the teenaged whirlwinds and rescue their companions (especially Goblin, who swam like a stone).

The platform ride was comfortable, and they arrived at the second island without incident. This island was somewhat larger, perhaps 800 or 1000 feet long. To the left was a forest, out of which rose a large hill or a small mountain, depending on your perspective. At the other end of the island was a cave. After some discussion, the Abolitionists decided to follow the path along the forest towards the cave. While they sauntered along, Lynnya noticed some birds overhead. They appeared to be surrounded by some sort of insect, but as Volodemir looked with her, they realized that the 'insects' were giant eagles, and the birds were rocs! Not wanting to face the gargantuan beasts in their element, the party dashed into the cave, and dashed the hopes of the birds.

The cave was unoccupied, and lead swiftly to a river, beside which was a small boat, apparently made out of the same material as the platform. They climbed into the boat, and it lead them downstream, and out of the island altogether! The river floated down towards the next island without any apparent support, and landed them on a lake. This island was not quite a large as the second, but was almost as long, with a jungle on one end, and on the opposite end next to the lake, another cave. Heeding the sign they were given, they guided the scow into the cave, which led them to a new island, the largest and most peaceful yet. Here they traveled down a river the length of the island, and disembarked in front of the most spectacular palace they had ever seen. Beautiful garden surrounded an edifice of white marble, and gleaming golden minarets rose into the sky. As they approached the palace, they were welcomed and led inside.

The interior was a sumptuous as the exterior, marble halls lined with mosaics depicting scenes of hunting and ancient battles. a large audience chamber where a djinn, Sheikh Omar, sat on a malachite throne. Next to Omar sat a familiar figure -- was it Arquestan? No, it couldn't be, and it wasn't. Arquestan was still dead. This was Qadeej, another Vaati. Omar welcomed them formally, and asked them to step into a nearby room where they would be more comfortable.

The new room was appointed with comfortable couches, upholstered in pink, their white backs matching the material of the boat and the platform. The walls were pink marble, and on the white table was a silver tray containing bread, olives, cheeses, and a carafe of a light wine. Gahl'akr very eagerly made himself a sandwich while the party got to talking. Omar knew of their quest, due to his guest Qadeej. Qadeej explained the reluctance of the Vaati to help the party reassemble the rod, since they did not want to start a new chaos war. The first war, between Paladine and Tiamat, was very destructive, and now with humanoid life firmly established would be catastrophic. But now he's come around. The best way to stop a new chaos war is to reassemble the rod so Miska can finally be killed! And there's a part of the rod here, with one small hitch. It is in the possession of an ancient white dragon that took up residence on one of the Isles. The party reluctantly agreed to help, and Omar transported them to a series of small earth motes close to one another, which he called the broken isles.

Here lightning flashed, and the party scrambled to jump from mote to mote, but they were successfully making their way across when demons swooped in to attack! Next time, we'll find out how the Abolitionists fare in their fight against Avianca the White

Sessions 63-65: A brief summary

The party continued to explore the unhallowed tomb beneath the graveyard. Finally, they reached the last floor. They found Volodemir's father, who gave them the secret of finding the fifth piece of the rod and avoiding the final trap of the rod. They defeated the third hag thanks to copious use of counterspell, and lifted the curse on the graveyard, returning it to peace.

About a month later, the party was enjoying an evening off in Darkshelf, when they received a telepathic message. Arquestan's manor was under attack by Spyder-fiends! Only three of the abolitionists came to help, and while they were able to drive off the demons, they were unable to save Arquestan's life. With his last words, he told the party where to find the sixth piece of the rod -- it was located on the Isles of Infinity

Session 62: Bones are the Pits

Our search for pieces of the Rod of Seven Parts had brought us to a large chamber with two cages suspended over deep pits. As Gal'akhr entered the dungeon room, two giant skeletons rose from the floor and began hurling bones at him. I harbored a certain amount of concern for him, given his weakened condition, so I extended my arcane ward to protect him from the osseous onslaught. Varis then paralyzed one of skeletons, allowing Gal'akhr and Volodemir to finish it off. Meanwhile, I cast several shatter spells at the second one, which Flint then charged, delivering the killing blow.

Just as the group began to relax (I, of course, am always relaxed), two bone weirds arose from the pits below the cages, threatening the skeletal integrity of the entire party. One of these monstrosities even charged my own person, leading to no small amount of alarm on my part! I was repaid for my good turn on Gal'akhr's behalf, however, as he leapt to my rescue, and we quickly dispatched the behemoths, being sure this time to destroy their accursed skulls.

Much deliberation ensued, from which I stood apart.

Eventually we pressed on and discovered a room which seemed to have once contained eight coffins but now contained only six, the remaining two replaced by pits spewing forth an eerie purple light. Upon entering this despicable tomb, six shadowy spirit demons materialized near the coffins. I called upon my arts to enact a force barrier that cut two of them off from the pack. My hope was to bottleneck the rest, allowing us to dispatch them one by one, but the accursed demons did not take the bait. They instead disappeared from view while we quickly eliminated the two that remained on our side of my barrier. Gal'akhr then bypassed the force wall entirely with a mighty leap and confronted the remaining four head-on. I subsequently dismissed the wall, allowing the party to converge on the hapless demons.

After the battle, we were left scratching our heads, searching for an egress, until, in a flash of inspiration, the bard Volodemir discovered a secret door in the chamber from which we had just come. This secret door led to a grotesque slide that ended in a grisly bone pit. Flint and Gal'akhr decided to give the slide a go, resulting in Flint nearly dying by way of a possessed bone shard. The rest of us arrived in the ossuary via more conservative methods and, no sooner had we taken the measure of the place, than an enormous bone golem rose to confront us.

Session 61: Cult of the Cannabalistic Cunt

Bowl inscription:
Story of Mother Thornheart. Must place story in correct order if  you wish to pass

4 doors labeled N, NE, SE, S

N - Let Them Eat Carrion
Scones illuminate a large banquet table filled with fine roasted meats and goblets of fine wine  as the party enters the room. Table filled with meats and goblets of wine. Seated at the table are three humanoid vultures tearing away at the meat and slurping red wine with their beaks [insert vulture gif from robin hood]

Vultures are jolly and beckon the group to join them. Stephen, Luke, and MacGyver cautiously do so in an attempt to lure information about the situation while Ghal’akar stands behind them. After a few sips, the illusion fades away. The once glorious roast reduced to putrid flesh and the vintage merlot to brown sludge.

The vultures begin laughing as those who partook became violently ill and are incompacitated for two rounds. Ghal’akar bolts into action, launching over the table and attacking the vultures. Death by 1,000 cuts.

Tablet appears after the demon birds were eliminated.
The feasting started at midnight and lasted through the night.
Mother Thornheart always cared for her special guests
She always said the tastiest and most tender meat was when they were frightened
Mother Thornheart served sweetest [un rea

NE - Some Pun about Trials
Sconces illuminate as the party enters the second chamber with Eerie shadows dancing across the walls and floors. Along the east and west walls feature four alcoves with red stone statues of a heavily robed humanoid figure. In the middle of the room lay a circle of glowing blue runes etched into the ground.

A low rumbling spreads across the chamber. A deep and trembling voice demands, “Step forward so your worthiness can be judged by the conclave of the father.”

Group debates next move. What does “worthiness” mean in this context? Who in the group would be the most worthy to stand in the presence in terms of this hell bound cannibal cunt? The group determines that shittiest member of the party is definitely Mike, who has just stood by watching his friends face death multiple times and done nothing. Ironically, his absence in this encounter also shielded him from the nomination. Ghal’akar, being the second shittiest, however was most injured from the last battle. Finally, Stephen the Decider steps forward and grabs the runes. As he does so, he is hit by a blast of lightning, temporarily losing 4 intelligence and becoming Stephen the Slightly Stoopid.

Tablet appears.
The trial was long and agonizing.
Mother Thornheart prepared.
Every action taken was questioned.
Multiple witnesses testified
In the end, Mother Thornhead One Swift Sentence

S - No Noose is Good Noose

Scones Illuminate! A stone platform in the middle of a room with a noose with 6 well-armed skeletons surrounding it, their armor rusted and pitted. Something about a bone white tree in the noose. A booming voice says “To find the stone, someone must swing”

Knowing full well that that voice is probably demanding a sacrifice, the group still attempts to pursue the least fatal options first. As the only member of the group capable of flying, Matt offers to be the guinea pig. He walks up and the noose and sticks his head in, planning to use his flying ability to avoid death by gravity. As he does so, the noose takes hold and begins to draw out his life force. Rob cuts the rope down to save Matt. A new noose rematerialized.

Suddenly, Stephen’s healing robot appeared and is used as the sacrifice.

The third stone tablet appears.
It took a band of warriors to …
To ensure Mother Thornheart…
Used every tool in her power to curse the warriors.
In the end, the tree claimed her life.

SE - Fond Adieu (Fondue)

The group enters the final door. As they walk along a corridor to the final boss, MacGyver notices a secret door with red, crusty, pudding-like substance over it. Slightly Stoopider Stephen  wipes a booger on the door. The group can’t get the door open. Ghal’akar tried to paint a key hole in the door with his marvelous pigments, but a hags head appears through the keyhole and the keyhole disappears. The group continues down and vows to come back later.

They enter the last chamber to see a glittering red pool. A fountain undulates with what appears to be blood pudding fountain. Maybe a former fondue pot for a cannibal? [Insert deadpool joke?]
Two skeletons scream, “Come and meet your death in a pool of blood.” Apparently literary finesse is not one of hell’s strong suits.

Ghal’akar was very much at death's door. The group manages to slay the skeletons and other stuff?

Tablet appears:
Mother Thornheart delighted in drowning guests in pools of blood. Relished the feeling of holding them down to fear for their life.
By doing so, was able to capture more souls.
Mother Thornheart was truly an artist.


****
Group returns to the secret door, takes blood pudding ooze from the chamber and smears it on it. The door opens to reveal a massive treasure room.
A mummified body (did we identify?)
Jewelry 9 something about Each alignment
6 black pearls worth 500 gold.
Something else
Magical items TBD

Return to the main room to lay the tiles in their places. Drowning, Feasting, Trial, and  Execution. Correct order. Something about telepathic scream - blood stops dripping from the eyes. Door or steps or something appears. Enter a new room.

Session 60: The One Where They Almost Die (What do you mean that doesn't narrow it down?)

The group enters a big large, cobweb covered room. A giant skeleton with green gem in their eye socket lumbers in the corner. As the group enter rooms, the giant’s voice fills the chamber, demanding a sacrifice. Skeletons emerge from the three corridors to the left and poison gas fills the entryway. We defeat the giant, and the skeletons collapse

The group finds 750 gold and adds the green gem to MacGyver’s haversack MacGyverSack™.

After clearing out the room, the group wanders down the hallway and enter another room. 
Clearly designed by someone with a predilection for anagrams, each of the three sides of the room contains three nooks with a giant letter in front of each doorway.

MacGyver looks up and sees four inanimate scarecrows lurking above, but the group is too focused on the puzzle above to listen. Still woozy from the poison gas, MacGyver shrugs it off as a hallucination and doesn’t press the matter.

As the group squabbles over the appropriate interpretation of the foreshadowing riddle, Rob grows weary of talk, and forges ahead. As he steps on the giant A in front of the first door to the left. Immediately bone shards fly out of the walls, pummeling an already injured group.

After much deliberation, the group decides to have Flint, the least-damaged member of the group, to spell out Graveyard while the rest hide in the entrance alcove. As he reaches the midway point, the four scarecrows lurking above, suddenly animate and descend from the rafters in ambush.

The scarecrows let out terrifying screeches like hillbilly banshees sent from depths of hell. The screams strike unnatural terror into the crew, leaving most of the party paralyzed in fear and striking psychic damage into the minds of the unafraid.

The party falls and Flint is the only one left standing.

Flint casts healing onto Macgyver. MacGyver and Lynnya regain consciousness. Under cover of is fallen and fearfall comrades, MacGyver sits up and draws his longbow on one of the skeletons and hits it. Stephen casts fireball on the scarecrows and sets them aflame as they fall to their death. 

As the last ash falls to the ground, a faint Zelda-like sound effect is heard in the background as the large middle tile opens up to reveal a large red gem.

Flint heals the rest of the group a little, returning them to consciousness. MacGyver discovered a hidden treasure chest containing.
10k in gold pieces
Stone of absorption
Sovereign Glue
Scarab of Protection
Belt of Fire Giant Strength

Gahl'Akhar grabbed the Belt, promising to give it to Goblin later. This might lead to a dance-off. The group exits the temple and makes camp in the woods, taking a long rest. Gahl'Akhar regains his missing bones, and proceeds to walk around the camp flicking off everyone in the party and giggling like an adolescent child.

The party returns to the mausoleum, and enters. The put the stones in the skulls eyes. Another faint Zelda-like sound effect is heard in the background as the skull’s mouth opens and reveals a hidden set of stairs. The stairs lead to a long chamber.

Two “well endowed” demon statues great the party on each side of the room. Behind the  statues, the party can see two arched doorways on each side leading out of the room. 

On the far wall, the party sees a small platform with a 10ft tall statue of a “matronly” woman holding a bowl in her hands with a faint inscriptions the group can’t quite make out. Blood tears ooze out of her stone eyes and pools in the bowl. In front of the statue, there are four square stone indentations about a foot deep, where it looks like tiles are missing.

As the party is deliberating how to proceed with what is obviously a trap triggered by crossing the demon statue line, Matt wonders further into the room crossing the invisible threshold. As he does so, the demon statues start to come to life.

Session 59: Weird Bones

Ghal'kar composed this song after several of his bones were eaten by a bone weird.

To be performed to the tune of Tha Crossroads by Bone Thugs-n-Harmony



Bone Bone Bone Bone Bone Bone Bone

Tell me what cha gonna do?

When the bone wraiths come for you?

The Fighter is now missing bones

Some of his bones are alone,

Bones shouldn’t be alone

I’m missing all my bones

My bones are getting bonely



Give me back my bones please, I need them in my knees

Please please, can’t bend my knees, This is a new disease,



The clerics pray and they pray and they pray,

Everyday everyday everyday

But still my bones are away are away are way



My bones should be with their family, inside of me

But instead they are hiding, outside my body they are residing

I should be laughing, but instead I am chaffing

My foes I should be gaffing, but instead I’m waffling



When my bones went bye bye, all I could was cry,

and make those bone wraiths die

Why?? And I miss my uncle Jones, yall.

I sure could use his bones



Bone Bone Bone Bone Bone Bone Bone

Please give me back my bones,

or I am gonna take some bones and add them to my bones

so my bones wont be alone,

a lone bone sure gets bonely



So clerics pray and they pray and they pray

Everyday everyday everyday everyday

So clerics pray and they pray and they pray

Everyday everyday everyday everyday

Give this man back his bones!

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads
So my bones won’t be lonely
See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads
So my bones won’t be lonely
See you at the crossroads, crossroads
So my bones won’t be lonely
See you at the crossroads, crossroads



And I'm gonna miss every bone in my body
And I'm gonna miss every bone when they’re gone
And I'm gonna miss every bone in my body
And I'm gonna miss every bone in my body
And I'm gonna miss every bone in my body



Gotta stay strong

When the day comes, I am gonna get them bones,

My bones won’t be alone, they will be in my body.

Session 58: Showdown under the Black Tomb!

Picture by Andra-MutantKitty https://www.deviantart.com/andra-mutantkitty/art/Pissed-off-elf-38745450

Go to the Bard’s village, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. We’re on day 2 and I’ve seen more corpses than a gods damned undertaker. And, gods, the smell. You can smell rotting shit for five miles. No wonder the Bard left.

So there we were before this massive mausoleum. We heard a witch’s horrifying cackle and then the cemetery grounds began to heave and shift around us. Three great mounds of grave dirt, with rotted roots for sinews and broken tombstones like gnashing teeth, arose around us.

The goliath barked out some words to his god in his guttural, brutish tongue, and, oddly, a sheep made of crackling energy answered his call and head-butted one of the grave dirt monsters. Taking up his hammer, the goliath joined his minion, striking at the creature with a wicked crack of thunder. Meanwhile, that handsome elf we met back in the village nocked and fired an arrow at another of the mounds. Watching his nimble fingers play along the bowstring sent a shiver down my spine.

Just then, a bolt of bluish light lanced down toward the Bard from atop the mausoleum, where the witch had been waiting for an ambush. The Bard’s tongue was faster though and, with a quick word of magic, an energy field sprung up around him. The witch’s beam of light washed over the shield and dissipated. With the witch revealed, the big warrior, despite his heavy armor, clamored up the wall of the mausoleum and threw his hammer at the witch. He’s got shit aim though and the hammer sailed way over the dead bitch’s head. The dwarf took up his own hammer then and gave the grave mound next to him a good bash.

The Bard pointed at me with that stick he’s always going on about and I felt a kind of tingle. Then he climbed up the side of the mausoleum next to the big warrior. As I watched him climb up, I realized I was still eye level with him. I looked down and nearly dropped my bow when I saw I was floating twenty feet above the ground. Fucking crazy Bard could have warned me he was gonna do that. Snapping back to reality, I fired a couple arrows at the mound the goliath was beating with his hammer. Then the grave dirt monsters took turns pounding the shit out of the dwarf. Not that he minded, he’s more or less a pile of rock himself. Certainly moves like one at least.

A night fog began to roll in. Towards us. From different directions. With no wind...Not fog! Wraiths! A whole bunch of wraiths surrounding us. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!

The goliath struck another blow with his hammer but then doubled over in pain from some kind of rotting magic that stuck with him after being hit by the mounds. I think the same thing happened to the dwarf but I can’t tell. His expression never changes. The dwarf grumbled a prayer and a wave of healing energy spread out from him. It was a good thing too since I had five of those damn wraiths swirling around me, taking swipes. That handsome elf fired some more arrows at one of the mounds while the warrior marched toward the witch and lashed out with his sword. I couldn’t heard the clang of metal though because the Bard called down a spell of silence to blanket the area around the mausoleum. Good thing too, don’t want that dead bitch cackling spells at us all night.

The Bard dodged between a pair of wraiths, drawing his sword as he leapt, and stabbed at the witch. His aim was a little off though since he took a swipe from one of the wraiths on his way. More of the wraiths gathered around him and then he went down. Meanwhile, the warrior and the witch traded blows, the warrior striking with his glowing sword and the witch lashing out with her twisted, skeletal hands. A few of the wraiths streaked past the dwarf, raking him with their ephemeral claws, and then the grave mound engulfed him whole. I fired a couple arrows at the witch but I had to dodge a couple wraiths clawing at me and the shots went wide.

Just then, the goliath roared and a massive boom of thunder echoed through the graveyard directly below me, sending a shock wave through the mass of wraiths and grave mounds all around us. The wraiths, their wispy bodies disrupted by the shock wave, appeared diminished. And one of the grave mounds outright shattered from the force of the thunder.

The witch, hearing the thunder and realizing the Bard’s silence was disrupted, grinned and croaked some arcane words. Gesturing toward the warrior, a bolt of dark energy crackled from her outstretched claw and struck the warrior, causing him to stumble and fall. Meanwhile, a number of wraiths gathered menacingly around the hooded elf as he struck out with his bow.

Then something odd happened. The mound that had engulfed the dwarf shuddered, lurched to a halt, and slumped forward. It then seemed to rise up and, with one earthy hand, punched two holes at its front, side by side, and then made a slash underneath. It looked like…a smiling face? It then turned toward the other mound next to it and, just as it was about to clobber the goliath, the smiling mound tackled it. Slightly confused but taking advantage of the momentary reprieve, the goliath called out a prayer and summoned a wave of healing energy and I saw the Bard and the warrior both stir.

From the ground, the Bard spoke a word of power and there was a loud crack like a whip that engulfed the witch, causing several bones in her skeletal form to crack and sunder. The warrior, jumping to his feet, lashed out with his sword, damaging the witch’s decrepit form even further. Focusing all fire on the witch, I took another couple of shots, striking her in the shoulder and torso. Then the wraiths, shrugging off the disruption from the goliath’s thunder, swarmed again, and the Bard and warrior slumped to the ground once more. The goliath too, though stalwart and formidable, was brought lo by the wraiths.

Sensing victory nearly in her grasp, the witch began an unholy chant that made the hair on the back my neck stand on end. Power gathered around her and the air grew colder as her magic swelled. As her spell began to take form, the elf raced up the smiling mound to gain a vantage, causing his hood to draw back as he did so. As he nocked an arrow, a streak of dawn’s first light fell upon him, lighting his mane of golden hair, long and luxurious down his back, though shorn and cropped close at his brow, and he appeared like some kind of fiery eladrin. As he released the arrow, I couldn’t help but swoon and begin to cream my knickers. The arrow flew straight and true, striking the witch squarely in her jaw just as she was finishing her spell. Her final word of power disrupted, the dark energy swirling around her imploded, shattering her skeletal form into dust. With a nightmarish shriek, we saw her wispy spirit float down into the crypt below.

The wraiths, unbound with the witch’s destruction, dissipated as dawn broke the horizon. The two grappling grave mounds both crumbled and broke asunder. The dwarf, covered in dirt and the dust of shattered tombstones, shook himself loose from the remains of the smiling mound.

We tended our wounds and gathered our strength under the grace and protection of the sun, knowing that with nightfall, we would need to enter the crypt and battle the forces of evil and death once more. For, as the Bard would say, two witches, a coven doth not make. Or some other such useless poetry.

Session 57: The Black Graveyard

Sometimes in life the easiest thing to do is to focus on what’s right in front of you. You see an undead dragon flying with what appears to be an undead woman directing it. You know that this is an abomination and cannot stand. The living will not suffer this and must return these things to the soil. Though we were offered no aid from the people of Volodimer's home we knew what are had to do. We had our task in front of us: to save the living and lay the undead to rest.

After dispatching these things we took our rest and recouped our losses. Sadly, a large number of the town folk were slain by the undead. We offered thoughts and prayers for the dead but knew our task was not finished. Time for us to be off to the cemetery to deal with the witches we had been warned of.

I imagine that the cemetery would have been better defended from the witches had it been less than half a day’s journey from the town. What sort of ceremonies do they have for the dead in this town that requires it to be so far away? Regardless, we arrived and set ourselves to the task as night was fast approaching. From a distance we could see that the cemetery was already in disrepair. We thought that we spied a giant skull on a mausoleum but were attacked by two purple worms before we could figure this out. No sooner did these beasts attack than one of them swallowed Werr-Boy. Flint and his mechanized companion have a knack for being made meals of, although they always seem to make it out. Our wizard was able to displace one of the beasts to another plane of existence while we focused our attention on the other worm. Our combined efforts proved to be enough to destroy the worm but not before it sprayed its poison on some of the group. Sick and vomiting we fought on and once the other beast returned to this plane of existence we destroyed that one as well. Our warlock’s patron wasn’t able to protect him and he suffered greatly from the poison spray. Daylight was fading and time was against us but we needed a moment to cure some of the ailments of our group. Flint and Volodimer granted by magical means the feeling of a great rest to the group. Pushing on we entered the dilapidated cemetery. Judging by the surroundings we knew it was only a matter of time before we were set upon by the witches or their undead forces and we weren’t let down. Once again a hodgepodge of bones put together to resemble another creature much larger and potentially more dangerous came to defend their undead masters. Knowing that this was just the start of the creatures that would attack us I decided to save some of my magic for the witches. Galacart, sword in hand, and I, swinging my hammer, ran to engage two of the three creatures. Aided by out allies using ranged attacks we took these things down with great haste.

This place needed a sacrament and I wanted Flint and I to consecrate the grounds. Before we could even discuss this we heard what sounded like teeth grinding. I heard a voice telling me that I killed “her sister”, although I wasn't sure if this was audible to the group or strictly in my head. From some of the expressions on the faces of my companions I thought they may have heard something similar. Assuming the giant skull on the mausoleum was about to open we scattered to one side so as to not be caught off guard by whatever would come out of the mausoleum. Things were not to go so well for us. Three shambling grave mounds sprang up and surrounded the group. Time to steel ourselves for this next and hopefully final battle with the undead. Time will tell if the Gods shine down on us!

Sessions 55-56: The Witch Fiend Attacks!

Returning to to visit my ancestral village, Amberdale, has been a bittersweet affair. I was excited to hear from my mentor, the esteemed Barondo, but saddened to read of the circumstances surrounding his missive.

With all due haste and concern, my companions and I traveled the many leagues to the bogs and forests of my homeland. As we neared the village perimeter, my heart was a-flutter with the thought of returning from a long journey. However, my elation was shattered when wraiths appeared from the very air and brazenly attacked my companions and I in the middle of the open road. Unforgivable! We made short work of the restless shades and entered the village proper. Heading to the inn, I reunited with Barondo who explained that my family curse was perhaps to blame for the peril now facing the village. It seems that my father’s inadvertent defilement of the hallowed cemetery grounds left a stain of wickedness over the area. Later, a witch worked her unholy magics over the site, opening a rift to dark lands through which all manner of living dead poured. Even as we spoke, Barondo related that, with nightfall, a horde of undead would descend upon the village, intending to drag it down into ruin. With my companions in tow, I resolved to defend my ancestral homelands with my last breath.

With dusk fast approaching, we had little time to see to the village’s defenses. We were able to sequester many of my people in the old keep overlooking the river, while others took refuge in the hallowed grounds of the village temple. While I set about bolstering the innkeeper’s resolve and ensuring that the remaining villagers were able to hide within the inn, my warrior friend worked to rally a defensive force from the able-bodied men of the village. Sadly, my people being an insular lot and he lacking my command of words, the warrior was less successful than I hoped. Still, he was able to provide another defensive structure to protect my people with his magical citadel even if he was not able to convince them to aid in their own defense.

Soon enough, night was upon us. Out of the forest, on the far side of the river, a mob of skeletons, some stained by time and others, the bleached white of new death, shambled forth, intent upon the village. We fell upon the horde with spell, arrow, and hammer. Between the two priests, a host of hammers, rams, chisels, anvils, and other wonders sacred their gods wheeled and buzzed, shattering the magic animating skeletons with every pass. The warlock, meanwhile, called upon his eldritch powers to blast the hordes from existence. High up on the bluff, a newcomer, not of the village but welcome nonetheless, fell upon the undead with his bow. Though the horde seemed endless, their depravity could not stand up to our righteous defense of Amberdale.

Just as we finished the last of the skeletons, we heard screams coming from the inn. Running to investigate, I was horrified to find that a pair of wraiths had managed to sneak behind our lines and decimate the population of inn. Of perhaps a hundred of my people hiding at the inn, only a score survived the wraiths’ onslaught. Though we dispatched them quickly, many a soul were lost to their wickedness.

Sadly, a similar fate awaited the villagers taking refuge in the old keep. Another three wraiths beset them, killing many before we could save them. Luckily, the magic of the warrior’s instant citadel and the sacred grounds of the temple appeared to hold the wraiths at bay. But the loss of so many of my people pains me beyond measure.

I called upon the Rod of Seven Parts to grant me the agility of the wind and took to the air, scouting the nearby area any sign of the witch causing all of this mayhem and death. Unfortunately, though I thought I saw a shadow flicker over the moon, it must have been my imagination for the witch yet eluded my gaze. I did, however, spot a second group undead shuffling through the forest on the way to village. They assembled on the far river bank, preparing sweep over the town and drag all of us down into their unholy existence.

My heart cried out for justice for my people. It was time to take the battle to these wretches. Grasping the dwarf with one hand, I sliced through time and space with the other, creating a door of magic. With the dwarf in tow, I stepped through the gate, bringing us both into the midst of the undead horde. Immediately, my companion crushed one of the gems of his magical helmet and a great wall of fire sprung up before us, laying waste the undead horde and cutting their army in half. Just then, a bolt of lightning streaked into the army’s flank, following the path of the warrior’s magical javelin as it sailed into the air and embedded into one of the skeletons. Meanwhile, the goliath called upon god to unleash a great storm of lightning upon the enemy as he called down bolt after bolt into their midst. Surrounded as we were, the horde of undead clawed, hacked, and bit at the dwarf and I. With a quick word of the arcane tongue, a shield of force interposed itself before their advance. And my dwarven friend, practically carved from the living rock himself, was unfazed by the their attack. Still more arrows and blasts of eldritch power rained down upon the undead from the far side of the river where the warlock, Lynnya, and our mysterious new ally stood.

This horde though was not the simple brood we had dispatched before. These undead were bolstered by their dark master in some way. They were more robust, harder to destroy. And where we failed to destroy them, they were able to sacrifice themselves, detonating in a blast of fel power. Such was the fate of the skeleton impaled by the warrior’s enchanted javelin, and so the javelin itself. The undead behind the wall of fire, smoldering from the flames before them, broke over the wall, crashing over each other to reach the sides of the wall, creating bottlenecks at each end. The two clerics, with spirits once again flitting all about them, channeled the undead through their energy fields, dispatching many of them whilst I felled many a skeleton with a blow from my sword, enchanted as it was to dispatch the undead. Though it was a formidable battle, we, the hand of righteous justice, prevailed against the horde of evil.

Taking a moment to address our wounds following the battle, I heard a woman’s cackling issue from the half shattered skull of one of the defeated skeletons strewed on the banks of the river. Her cackling, mocking and arrogant, told me that this long night was not yet over.

As the mists of midnight rolled over the town, a quartet of osseous abominations emerged from the forest. They looked as though they had been pieced together from the bones of all manner of creature, from horse skulls to bear claws and the hooves of cattle and goats’ horns. The magic pulling them together glowed deep within their bony crevices with a hellish, infernal light.

As the undead constructs marched toward the river, the dwarf crushed another of the gems of his helmet, causing another wall of fire to appear. As before, the abominations, charred but unbowed by the flames, hastened toward the sides of the fiery wall to resume their march. As they rounded the corner of the wall, with the withering of another of the gems, the dwarf unleashed a dazzling display of color and light and rays of power washed over the creatures. Diminished, they yet marched on.

Just then, the shadow I had glimpsed flickering over the moon suddenly made itself manifest. My heart nearly leapt from my chest as a dragon, its wings tattered and bone peeking through cracks and holes in its leathery hide, descended. However, when I saw the crone, wizened and withered, perched between the dragon’s exposed shoulder blades, I felt the fervor of righteousness rise within me, for my enemy had at least made the error of showing herself.

The warlock intoned alien words of power over his sword, causing it to darken with eldritch power. With such a weapon in hand, he leapt forward to attack the abominations still rushing toward us. With the destruction of another of the gems in his helm, the dwarf unleashed another barrage of light and power at the dragon and its master. Despite its size and undead state, the dragon was surprisingly nimble in flight. It thus managed to avoid the most devastating rays of magic that raced toward it, merely being grazed by the magic. The dragon then changed its trajectory, raking its claws across the goliath as it passed. Incensed, the cleric called upon his storm god to rebuke creature for this offense. With a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder, the dragon fell from the sky. It was then that, with another gem of the dwarf’s helm meeting its ultimate end, another blast of radiance erupted toward the dragon. This time, neither the dragon nor the crone would escape the scorching rays of power arcing toward them.

Meanwhile, while we tended to the dragon and the crone, the warrior and our new found ally joined the warlock in dispatching the skeletal constructs bearing down upon us. The battle to come is perilous but, as the righteous hand of fate and law, we must prevail. I will have justice for death of my kinsmen and vengeance for the ruin and destruction this unholy witch has visited upon my ancestral homeland!

Session 55 prologue: A message arrives

It has been three and a half months since the Abolitionists returned from the cloud giant keep. Volodemir was taking a rare night off from performing at the Golden Cockatrice -- the famous elven bard Aloria was there for a few days, and was every bit as good as her reputation. As the party enjoyed their evening, the door to the inn flew open, and a travel begrimed messenger ran in. "Volodemir! Is Volodemir here? I have a message," he cried. "Hello, I am Volodemir," came the familiar response. "Father Barondo sent me. He needs your help!" The messenger handed a letter to Volodemir. Flint waved a server over to get the messenger a drink while Volodemir began to read.

Dear Volodemir, it is said that the transgressions of the father fall on the son, yet I never thought the desecration your father wrought would fall upon this town so much later, and so terribly. The Black Graveyard has become home to a wretched evil which uses the power of Law to reach through the hole Manchenko rent and summon all matter of monstrosities. Amberdale is sorely beset -- please come with all haste to aid us and redeem your father's failures.

As Volodemir finishes reading, the Abolitionist turn to other, and they begin to discuss what they should do next.

Session 54: Escape from the Sky

Goliaths being the largest of the common races in the world, we have our perspectives of the peoples that inhabit it. We even have our friends, allies, associations and enemies. I sometimes wonder if the Giant races feel the same about the world or if they just look down on all of us haughtily from their castles in the sky. Those that float in the clouds - the Cloud Giants - are certainly rumored to have this nature. The Fire Giants on the other hand are known to be barbaric. So we were understandably apprehensive about entering the realm of the Giants. The two elves that got us into the castle are going to have some Hell to pay with the Cloud Giants once they realized what we have done.

With the aid of the “help” we were able to navigate the great halls. Seeing part of the rod being used as a hair pin by two Fire Giants was pretty disgusting but fortunately one of our team was able to sneak it out from under their noses using an invisibility spell. Rescuing the baby dragon made us feel better about breaking and entering. Lucky for us the dragon could polymorph and with our guise of being exterminators we were able to sneak out with her shaped like a spider, though not without heavy questioning (and embarrassing answering). I thought it would be to my advantage to wear a Frost Wolf's hide as a cloak but to my surprise the giants had their own tools for making animal hide clothing. If the dragon understood what was going on I’m sure she must have been frightened, though she remained calm as we negotiated this obstacle. Eventually we made it out of the castle and onto the cloud bridge.

Walking away from the castle we eventually heard some shouting and turned to see two giants coming after us. Flint and our warlock jumped on a flying broom and took off towards the base of the bridge. The dragon polymorphed back to her regular form and we asked her to get as far away from the castle as possible, only to realize later that we may never see her again. We could only hope that the family of dragons figured out it was us that rescued her if we should ever run into them again. Strategically placing magical barriers and wards we were able to stymie the progress of the giants on the bridge while we made good our getaway. After some distance we turned back to the castle entrance and saw two giants transform into dragons and fly away. These must have been the parents of the dragon we rescued and we knew we were safe for the moment. Feeling good about our actions and knowing we had to get as far away as possible we took no time to rest but put as many miles between us and our new foe. Once again I return to this notion that giants must think that they are superior to us smaller races. Two Fire Giants and what must have been hounds from Hell thought that could sneak up on us. Twice the size of an average human male makes it near impossible to do this but they still tried. Maybe they knew we were a fighting force that had to be dealt with or maybe they just thought we were ignorant. In either direction they were defeated and we continue our search for the rod of seven parts.

Session 53: Flint's Report, or What the Hell is Up With This Masonry?

After our last run in with the fire giant, we were a bit wary and more than a little thankful that Ghal'Alkr still had his instant fortress to protect us. Volodemir tells us the rod is beckoning him towards the castle in the clouds in the distance. Even though I don't know how we're going to get to it once we near it, I follow, having felt the call of the rod in the past and knowing that it needs to be reassembled for some greater purpose.

Early in the hike, we came upon a large lizard, who turned out to be quite polite if a bit haughty. It seems that this youngling, Kieran, was a small silver dragon. His mischievous sister, Ariele, disobeyed their parents and went near the giant tower, with the result being both her capture, and the slaughtered fire giants we saw yesterday. Volodemir took pity on the wyrm and said we'd try to find his sister, though he lied to us about not knowing where to bring her to sample their parents' gratitude. Probably for the best. Dragons may be quick to react to the sight of their young in the company of humanoids, and we don't want to tangle with any grown ones over a misunderstanding.

Midway through the day's trek, we spot a number of winged beasts circling, and before we know it, they're diving at us. I was able to summon a spiritual hammer and tongs to batter one nearest the ground, and Ghal'Akr knocked another out of the air with a skillful shot. Volodemir confused yet another, and Goliath charged the felled one. As the battle continued, we managed to kill the felled one and two more, but two more got away. Looking closer, they were griffons. It seems like they may be giants' companions. Good riddance, but I feel bad for the others who may have wanted to tame and ride them. I'll stick to the ground, or under it.

Finally making some progress up the mountain, we came across a decent sized ledge with some dead giants and two elves poring over them. We introduced ourselves, and found out that they were spider hunters on their way to the castle to do some exterminating before an upcoming nuptials. They were called Ciellan and Ruusa, a brother and sister warrior and mage. Volodemir had heard of them, and they us. Ghal'Alkr seemed to be eyeing the male the way he does sometimes and flexing a little. I wonder what that's about. When they asked us what we were doing on our way to the mountain, Volodemir and I didn't miss a beat and said "We're with the bride's side!" Relieved to have gotten that far through a lie without contradicting someone or my voice cracking, I let him do the rest of the talking. After some negotiating, they agreed to let us in on their invitation for a fee. We countered their offer to include a ride on their magic carpet to the top, and to my relief, they accepted.
The sight that greeted us was impressive indeed. A 30 foot gate in a cloud castle, the make and material of which I couldn't really fathom. It lacks the art of a craftsman's touch, though, so I assume it's a mage's doing. Within, we find a large cloud meadow and giants and ogres busy making preparations for the wedding. We managed to speak with a huge cloud giant, Yurik, and found he was the proud father of the groom, Diomed, who was to wed a fire giantess, Siiri. Strange bedfellows-to-be, in my opinion. After amusing ourselves with the giant versions of fruits and vegetables, and peeping at some giant tools in a toolshed, we got down to business, and followed the rod's divining to the inside. There, we snuck around and found a guardroom, and a chamber holding an impatient Sirie yelling at servants trying to fix her hair. Using some guile and magic, we managed to send a flying invisible warlock within to pilfer the piece of the rod. I was for leaving unnoticed, but the others wanted to try rescuing the wyrmling Ariele. We deduced that any dungeons must be in the lower levels of the castle, which were below ground/cloud I guess. This is one place I really don't want to dig too deep. I find myself having to force myself to stop asking questions about how any of this works just to stay sane.

In the cellars, we managed to find a guard we could not sneak or talk our way past. Undeterred, we feigned ignorance and pretended to leave, secretly letting the flying warlock do some reconnaissance. After finding a pit he thought might hold the dragon past the guard, we readied ourselves for a fight. Calling on a guardian of faith, I effectively pinned the dutiful gaoler in the corner, and we were all over him before he could move or raise an alarm. A great deal of stabbing, spell flinging, blinding, and shooting, he was done for. With nothing of interest on his person, we moved on and pushed aside a huge stone from above a pit containing a small, presumably frightened Ariele. Adreham knows how we're going to get her out of here alive. If we the elves and/or their carpet, it would be child's play, but I suspect our lack of planning may come back to haunt us next.

Session 53: The Cloud Giant's Castle

The dwarves have reason to dislike giants. Giants are mean. Having rested from felling the fire giant that attacked our fortress, we climbed further into the mountains in search of the rumored cloud giant castle, hoping to secure another section of the Rod. As we hiked upward through the mountains, I happened to spy a lizard perched on a cliff face peering at us. It was about ten feet long and crouched against the cliff face cautiously. Intrigued, I called out to it and introduced myself. To my delight, he answered back and corrected me that he was not, in fact, a lizard but was instead a silver dragon. Dubious, I questioned him on where his wings were if he were a dragon. Bristling, the creature shook itself like a dog and unfurled a pair of small, scaly wings. He was young and had not yet grown into his wings but satisfied, I flipped him a few coins of silver which he happily scooped up with his forked tongue. He said his name was Kieran and spoke of his family. It seems cloud giants had kidnapped his sister when she had ventured too close to their castle and were holding her captive. Enraged, Kieran’s parents had unleashed anger upon the group of fire giants we stumbled upon earlier but had, so far, been unable to penetrate the castle to free the she-whelp. We thanked Kieran for the information and continued on our journey but it wasn’t long before night was falling and we needed to rest.

They came at dawn, trying to hide in the sunrise and catch us by surprise. Luckily, we spotted the five griffons bearing down on us and had a moment to prepare before they were upon us. As they approached, our new friend, the warlock, suddenly became swathed in a cloud of inky shadows, obscuring him from vision. Lynnya and the warrior loosed arrows upon the flock of griffons. One of the griffons, felled by the warrior’s bolt, plummeted to the ground while another, caught in a confounding spell I cast, simply hovered in mid-air, addled. The goliath threw a lightning bolt from his javelin at another of the beasts. The battle was quick and fierce but when we had dispatched three of their number, the remaining griffons retreated.

Spent from our battle, we rested a short time before continuing our journey into the mountains, intent on making our way as far as we could before nightfall forced us to shelter. I must admit, our wizard friend and Lynnya notwithstanding, our dealings with the she-witch, Markessa, have made me distrustful of most elves. Even the best of them are so…anarchic. Thus, I was more than a little suspicious of the two we found when we turned the corner. Following a winding path up the mountain side, we turned a corner and found ourselves nearly face to face with a pair of elves, a female and a male (so far as one can tell with elves). The “male” appeared to be more of a fighter, though not as strong or as skilled as our own warrior, while the female looked to be some sort of magess. Crafty as always, we greeted them with kindness and vigor, never betraying our trepidations. They introduced themselves as spider hunters who had been hired by the cloud giants for extermination purposes. Immediately, our tone softened as we were sympathetic to their profession given our own interactions with spider demons. Their names were typically elven, unpronounceable with many syllables, but I think I recognized them. And they were familiar, and even impressed (for elves), with our exploits, particularly the spider cottage we stole from the demon witch some time ago.The elves had been inspecting the corpses of several stone giants lying in a crevice along the cliff. From the frost burns scoring the giants’ bodies, they surmised that the giants had been caught by the silver dragons in another rampage. We chose to remain mum on the source of the dragons’ rage. Curiously, the elves had a carpet unfurled beside them on cliffs. I thought perhaps their elvish whimsy had prompted them to stop in the mountains for a picnic but it was actually a magical flying carpet. They agreed, for an exorbitant sum (albeit discounted in honor of our deeds), to convey us the rest of the journey up to the cloud giant castle and even provide passage into the castle under the auspices of their own invitations.I cannot speak for my companions but I rather enjoyed the flight up to the castle. Drifting up through the clouds, we saw the castle itself, a brick and metal monstrosity perched on nothing more than a plain of clouds. 

Entering the castle under the benevolence of our elven acquaintances, we saw many wonders. Lavishly decorated for an opulent wedding, the castle was festooned with bouquets of massive flowers, tables lined with a great feast of gargantuan vegetables and pies big enough to swim in, and remarkable displays of gems and precious metals. We were introduced and heartily welcomed by the parents of the groom and allowed to mingle with various guests. The castle itself sat firmly upon the cloud plain with nothing below to support it. I was confounded by this even as one of the cloud giants scooped up a mass of the cloud in his hands and, the cloud being viscous and gel-like in his hands, formed and packed it into a brick. When I tried to do the same, cloud drifted through my fingers, as ephemeral as any other, and the giant laughed heartily.

Lest we forget our purpose in the midst of the wedding festivities, we divined that the location of the next piece of the Rod seemed to come from beneath the castle. Our elvish acquaintances had since drifted away, presumably to do their duty in eradicating any spidery presence. So, free to wander the castle as we so chose, we asked one of the ogres serving hors d’oeuvres the size of hammers where we might find the lower sections of the castle so our dwarven friend could inspect the foundations. The ogre politely gave clear, concise directions to a set of stairs, each roughly three feet in height. We crept down the stairs to a landing with rooms down a hallway to one side, and another set of stairs on the other. The Rod quivered, signaling we were close. We quietly ventured down the hallway toward two doorways, one on either side of the hall, each covered by a mammoth hanging tapestry. Creeping into the room on the right, we found it to be a barracks housing roughly twenty giant soldiers. Three giants slept on cots within. To ensure they did not wake, Lynnya cast silence in the area, deafening any sound that may alert the giants to our intrusions. Across the hall, a pair of fire giantesses wrestled with the unruly locks of the bride to be. There, on the dressing table amidst an array of hair pins, brushes, and other paraphernalia, lay the third section of the Rod. Not keen on the idea of fighting a pair of fire giants, particularly giants agitated by wedding preparations, we resolved to attempt to retrieve the Rod through stealthier means. Using my trusty lute, I imbued the warlock with the ability move about unseen and fly. He silently flew into the room and waited for the opportune moment to pilfer the section of the Rod. Once he grasped it, it too became invisible. And thus, he was able to spirit it out of the room while the giantesses were distracted in their wedding machinations.

Our goal achieved, we briefly debated leaving the castle at that point before any of the giants realized the Rod’s absence. However, I could not conscience leaving the young silver dragoness to the mercy of these giants. So, delving deeper into the castle, we found ourselves at a crossroads. To the right, there was a portcullis and to the left, there appeared to be what looked like a series of lion cages. Venturing to the right, we tried our best to stealthily creep through the portcullis. Unfortunately, I sneezed so violently that I fell down and dropped everything that I owned. We were very quickly confronted with a guard who told us that the party was upstairs. Behind the giant, we could see a great round stone covering an oculus in the floor. The warlock, still invisible and flying, snuck into the room and attempted to listen for stirrings of the dragon in the chamber beneath the stone and, failing that, pressed his body against the stone to feel if it was cold from the silver dragon’s frosty disposition. Alas, the stone was too thick and the warlock was unable to hear or feel anything to indicate that the dragon lay below. Chagrined and yet intrigued, we decided it would be prudent to send the warlock for a quick check of the lion cages to be sure the dragon was not held in one of them. Unfortunately, it was not and we would have no choice but to dispatch the giant.As the giant was already aware of our presence, he was ready for an ambush. The goliath blinded the mammoth creature with a spell while the dwarf warded an area in front of the giant against encroachment, effectively pinning the giant against the back wall. We then unleashed upon it with spell, blade, and arrow. Pinned against the wall by his own bulk, the giant tried throwing boulders at us but, with its vision impaired by the goliath’s spell, the giant could not aim properly. We quickly slew the beast and then, pooling our strength together, carefully lifted the stone from the oculus. There, lying alone and frightened, was the silver whelp. We pondered our next steps on how to retreat from the castle with the dragon whelp without bringing down an angry wedding party down upon our heads.

Session 52: The Rod of Seven Parts: Part III

After defeating the vile and otherworldly Aboleth our heroes spent some well earned downtime recovering in town and preparing to retrieve the next piece of the rod. Upon connecting the first two sections of the rod the Bard found his personality shifting into a more orderly configuration. Taking heed of past difficulties faced fighting underwater, Flint and Ghal'Akr searched the town to find its best blacksmith to forge a cold iron greatspear.

Having rested and provisioned our party set off to the southwest as directed by the rod. After travelling for several days through temperate forests the terrain started to become hilly and the flora started to open up. On the 4th day out of town the group pressed on unto dusk in their haste to cover terrain. In the gloaming of late afternoon they noticed a large campfire about a mile ahead. Cautiously the group approached the unknown camp and several hundred feet away it was determined to be inhabited by three stupid hill giants. Goblin, the Goliath cleric and Ghal'Alkr decided to move on ahead and make contact with the brutes and were astonished when the dwarven cleric ran past them yelling at the now assuredly hostile giants.

With diplomacy no longer a viable option our heroes began to close the distance. With most of our heroes now running at full speed towards the giants their massive foes began to hurl great stones in response. The dwarf bestowed his deities blessing on his allies and then almost immediately was beaned by a chunk of limestone. Volodemir and Melf slung arcane arts adeptly while Ghal'Akr shot arrow after arrow at one of the giants who was quickly coming to resemble a huge pincushion. Spell and arrows whittled down the giants until Ghal'Akr was able to kill two of them with one mighty bolt of lightning from his arm. Finding nothing of interest in the creatures possession our heroes moved on further into the hills before camping in Ghal'Akr's Instant Fortress for the evening.

The next day further into the mountains the Abolitionists came across a group of orcs and humans picking over the remains of what we found to be two fire giants. The humanoids had apparently been slaves to the fire giants who were taking them to a cloud giants castle for some sort of event and who had been set upon while en route by two large silver dragons. The slaves who were now seemingly free were friendly enough although they were not really a good source of information for us. They seemed happy to be messy though. We proceeded, in what we now believed to be the direction of the cloud giants castle in search of another piece of the rod and once again set up a fortified campsite. The following morning we were awoken by the passage of a fire giant near our tower. From the roof of the tower it was decided that the bard would cast fly on Ghal'Akr and the Goliath who would move out and engage the great brute with areal lightning strikes and magical weapons while the rest of the group was to engage at range from the safety of the battlement. The fighter was the first to engage with lightning and sword and dealt a solid blow of the hot foe before being batted through a nearby tree when the giant struck back. As more of our party engaged the numbers did in the fire giant and our heroes were once again victorious in their march into the mountains.

Session 51: The Big Fish

I swear on my ancestors, these bastards are going to get me fucking killed. Crawling around these damned fungus-infested caves, it’s been -days- since I’ve seen the sun and smelled fresh air. And for what? Taking a stick from a big smelly fish monster.

After slaughtering the “baby” fish, we decided to descend into the deeps to go after Big Daddy. The mage waggled his fingers and spoke his gibberish for ten minutes and then, in his creepy monotone way, announced we could now breathe water. I couldn’t tell that anything was different so I was naturally skeptical. Who wouldn’t be? I’ve known the bard for months and I trust him as far as I can throw him (more on that later) but I’ve only known the mage and his warrior friend for about a fortnight. So I let the others jump in first and waited to see if they drowned. No such luck. So reluctantly, I jumped in after them. Now, by my ancestors, if you’ve never had the pleasure of being under the effects of a water breathing spell, I have to tell you that taking that first breath of murky, disgusting water is godsdamned  hard. You have to convince yourself that drowning sounds like kind of a good idea. I almost passed out before I managed to will myself to take a breath. But eventually I got the hang of it.

Swimming down into the depths, the bard’s driftglobe providing an eerie, cloudy pall over everything. I readied my bow, little good it would do. Have you ever tried firing a bow under water? About as impotent as a eunuch in a brothel. We descended into what looked to be some sort of dilapidated temple. The symbolism seemed to show Tiamat in several aspects. There was the normal Bitch Queen of evil dragons but there was also symbolism of a more primordial aspect that seemed to involve dark, watery chaos at the center of the cosmos eating away at reality, balance, and order. Given our current surroundings, I found the second aspect considerably more disturbing.

I was swimming along when the bard reached a hand out to grab my shoulder. Distracted by temple murals and frescoes, I was so startled, I almost shot the bugger. The bard gestured toward the far end of the temple nave where there was a tunnel leading further in. In front of the tunnel opening were what appeared to be some sort of giant crustaceans. There was one giant, mean looking one and two only slightly less giant, possibly meaner looking ones. I wasn’t looking forward to engaging these monsters but I didn’t see much choice so I drew back my bow and took aim. But the warrior, in a soldierly halting gesture, implored me to wait. He then withdrew a deck of cards from some pocket in his armor. I thought to myself, He wants to parley lobsters over a game of euchre? He’s fucking mad! But then he drew a card and tossed it towards the lobsters. When the card flew through the water, despite the resistance, it dawned on me that the cards must be magical. Sure enough, the card detonated into an illusion of an archmage and his apprentice. The crustaceans, falling for the illusion, immediately began to tread toward the two phantom mages. I nocked my arrow again, ready to press the advantage of an ambush but the warrior halted me once again. He gestured and the illusory images began to swim back to the far end of the temple, with the lobsters following close behind. I tried to protest, knowing the creatures would likely ambush us from behind once the illusion was dispelled but the fools were too daft to understand me underwater and swam forward toward the tunnel. What could I do but follow?

We swam into a natural cave festooned with algae and seaweed. And a big fucking aboleth. The abomination spoke to us directly in our minds, demanding to know why we were here. It didn’t bother to wait for an answer before trying to bind us to its hellish will. Luckily, we were able to resist. Then the bard got that stupid smirk on his face. I don’t know what thoughts that fool projected to the aboleth but, I shit you not, that fish monstrosity actually started laughing in my mind. The bard laughed too, or gurgled I guess, obviously pleased with himself. The warrior waded forward, drawing his net and halberd, and attacked the creature. At the same time, I felt a tingle rush up my spine as a lightning bolt surged through the water and struck the aboleth. The laughing stopped and I knew we were in trouble. That fish slapped the warrior with its tail so hard I thought his eyes were going to pop out but he shook it off. He’s a stalwart one, I’ll give him that.

I nocked an arrow as the bard gurgled a spell and pointed at me. The arrowhead began to glow and bubble in the water. I took aim and loosed but the damn water resistance ruined my shot and the arrow tumbled down to the sea bed. I quickly took aim with another and struck true that time. The aboleth swam near the bard and me, and then I noticed the bard’s expression become blank and his pupils dilated. And that’s when things started to get interesting. The warrior closed on the fish, earning another tail slap in the process, and attacked again. The aboleth retaliated with its tentacles. The bard uttered another spell and gestured toward the warrior. To my horror, I watched as the warrior’s breastplate began to glow with the same reddish light as my arrowhead a moment ago. BY MY ANCESTORS, I KNEW I COULDN’T TRUST THAT GODSDAMNED BARD! Seeing he was bewitched, the wizard attempted to dispel the effect but his spell must have fizzled because next thing I know, the wizard’s body lurched and convulsed, changing form until he was godsdamned chicken. Meanwhile, the warrior, cooking in his own armor, was left at the mercy of the fish beast’s tentacles and tail. He put up a valiant fight against the creature but soon succumbed to his injuries, falling unconscious in the water. The warrior and the mage both dispatched, the bard and the aboleth both turned their sights on me. I loosed a couple quick arrows, one striking home, before the fish was upon me, berating me with its damned tentacles. The creature’s mucus surrounded me, choking my lungs and making me gag. Oddly enough, I briefly found this indescribably hilarious and then quickly realized the bard was working his magic on me. Steeling my nerves as I drew my sword, I was able to block out the spell. Battered and burned from the spells and attacks, I knew the aboleth couldn’t take much more. Dodging another tentacle, I managed to drive my sword up under its jaw and stab at the creature’s brain. The tentacles twitched and then grew still as the abomination died on my blade and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Extracting my sword, I looked defensively toward the bard. He blinked a few times and then looked about, confused. I could already tell, that oaf didn’t remember a fucking bit of what he had done. The wizard was restored to his true form and the warrior rescued from death’s door.

Searching the grotto, we found a treasure trove but, strangely, the rod wasn’t among the pieces. The warrior then spotted its gleaming white tip glinting against the aboleth’s dark, scaly underbelly. The creature had hidden it in a pouch in it is hide. Collecting our prize, we prepared to exit the caverns, not looking forward at all to fighting our way back through all the fish people, other fish people, driders, lobsters, and every other bastard you could think of. To our amazement, we found the caverns deserted. With the aboleth dead, its psionic hold over the slave community in the caverns was broken and, tasting freedom perhaps for the first time, they all fled at first opportunity. We quickly traversed the caverns, picking up the liberated slaves we housed in the warrior’s magical fortress along the way, and made our way back to Darkshelf. And I’ve been retching that foul mucus the entire time. I don’t think I’ll ever get the taste of rancid fucking fish out of my mouth for as long as I live.